Icing on the Cake

Up at an ungodly hour with a lot going through my mind. Recently on twitter, I read something about metaphors being a great help in dealing with certain issues because it can give you a new perspective on a familiar problem and hopefully motivate a change in behaviour to help deal with or eliminate the problem.

metaphor (n)

(1) a thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract

(2) a figure of speech that directly refers to one thing by mentioning another for rhetorical effect. It may provide clarity or identify hidden similarities between two ideas

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Beware of things/people that are just icing on the cake. 

Better yet, beware of things/people that are just icing and aren't even on the cake.

Imagine seeing somebody eating a plain piece of cake. Maybe you might start craving some yourself. Even if you don't, you kinda just overlook it. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's just a normal adult eating cake. 

Now imagine seeing somebody eating cake with some good looking icing and maybe even some sprinkles. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing to focus on. The most that'll happen is the cake now looks more attractive and you may be more inclined to want a piece.

Now imagine seeing an adult sitting with a tub of icing. Just sitting there, minding their business with a tub of icing in hand and a spoon. A little more questionable right? A child might look at it and think 'life goals' but an adult knows, this just might not be such a good idea.

Imagine somebody bringing out a cake on your birthday. It looks delicious. For now, you can see icing, maybe some sprinkles, maybe some other toppings. But it already looks yummy. You cut into it and it's more icing. Suddenly, it becomes less appealing. Initially, it looked delicious because the assumption was that you were getting cake. And although you only used the icing to judge, that same icing has now become less appealing because that's all there is. Feels like deception.

Some things/people are just cake (we'll refer to them as cakes). Some things/people are just icing (we'll refer to them as bastards-I mean icing; we'll refer to them as icing). Some things/people are cake with icing (we'll refer to them as 'goals'. Ok not really we'll refer to them as Iced Cakes). 

I don't know about you but I can enjoy a slice of plain cake. No icing, no glaze, no special effects. I will still enjoy that cake. Especially a cake cooked with love and care by your favourite person, maybe your granny. You know gram gram took her time. She cooked it from scratch. She knows how you like your cake and makes it just how you like it. She doesn't rush it because she knows good things take time. She does every step carefully because she knows each step done perfectly is what makes the whole cake perfect. Yes, she is excited to give it to you and to show you her work; but that does not breed impatience in her and cause her to rush it just so that she can show you she made you cake. Mee-Maw knows that quality takes precedence over quantity. She knows that little fast tailed boy/girl down the road is probably rushing to make you box cupcakes. And she probably knows you might get the cupcakes first and more of it. But still, she takes her time. Alas, you get your cupcakes from 'ya lil friend' down the road. It is decorated to the T. You ain't never seen no cupcake like dat. You taste it. It tastes good but some are kind of burnt and others are a little undercooked. You tasted a little raw flour in one. Some are both burnt and undercooked. But nevertheless, you show appreciation because you were raised right. You appreciate the effort although you didn't enjoy it as much as you thought you would. About half an hour later, Gam-Gam comes out of the kitchen in her cute little apron, flour on her nose and forehead, holding a plain cake on a plate and says, 'for you, my child.' You already know she put in that work. The effort is already appreciated because you know she took her time. You bite into it and it's even BETTER than you expected. These cupcakes aren't even a thought anymore. You could eat this cake for the rest of your life. Ol' girl/boy down the road in the window watching you enjoy Grammy's cake and wondering why you didn't nyam her cupcakes like that.

She salty. Kinda like one of the cupcakes she made. It's not that you didn't appreciate her cupcakes but they weren't memorable. Especially not when you're on the receiving end of the best cake you've ever tasted in your life. 

Now, again, I don't know about you, but when I see somebody enjoying a piece of cake, I want summa dat. When I see that cake has some good looking icing, I want summa dat even mo'. But if I saw somebody just eating icing, I would tap my friend and be like 'come look at dis..somebody c-c-come look at dis.' A child might want a piece of that action but an adult knows better. No matter how good that tastes, you know it's a bad idea. You cannot be willing to sacrifice your health like this. What is you goin' through? Is everything okay at home?

Some people are aware of the power of icing. They know it makes cake look more attractive. But some overlook that a cake has to exist for the icing to go on top of. You have to take your time to bake the cake first, and then put icing. You don't put icing on cake batter. You don't put icing on air. You don't put icing on more icing. You put icing on a baked cake. You enhance the cake. But many people just want the benefits of being icing. It's attractive. It looks good. But when people come for a slice, these people just end up disappointed. Because that's all there was. Icing. You thought the icing was inviting you to eat cake. But there was no cake.

Some people are aware of the power of being cakes. Well baked cakes. They know that's substance. That's sustenance. Even if it's not well decorated, it still tastes good. Even if it's a little crumbly, it can still taste good. 

Now don't get me wrong; some cakes are burnt and gross. And no matter how much icing it has on it, it'll still be nasty. You not gonna care for the icing much if the cake is trash. And even if you do eat the icing, you not gonna be as satisfied. So the people that put in the effort, take their time, do each step perfectly, they become cakes and are fine being just cakes. You see them, and you know what you're getting. It might not have all the theatrics of icing and fondant but it'll leave you asking for more.

Again, icing on trash cake is just trash cake. Icing cannot fix trash cake. Without a well baked cake, the icing is only attractive to child-like mindsets. They understand it tastes good and that's all they care about. They don't care about rotten teeth, diabetes, tummy aches, nunna dat. But their parents know better and their parents know THEY are the ones that have to deal with the rotten teeth, diabetes and tummy aches that come after a tub of just icing. So to avoid their children's anguish and having to take care of the long term effects, they deny their children the short term pleasures of just icing. The child might be upset but ultimately, it is for their benefit even if they are unaware. 

Now imagine you survive off a cake diet. Your lifestyle requires that you have one good ass cake everyday. So you make yourself some good ass cake everyday. Somebody comes along and wants to wine and dine you. You let them know you live off cake. That's what keeps you going. They gave you the most beautiful cake ever on your first date. You're sold. A few months pass. This person brings you all kinds of things; steaks, lobster, patties, sweet bread, bun, macaroni, fried plantain, stew lamb, basmati rice, beef wellington, some fancy dessert you cannot pronounce but they never bring you cake.

You appreciate all this good food and everyone else is looking from the outside thinking 'damn, I wish I had somebody to give me all that.' And you start to feel like you're being ungrateful. You start to convince yourself that maybe you can live without cake. You ARE getting all these other things, after-all, and everybody IS telling you how lucky you are. But you've been spending so much time making their favourites and sharing their favourites, you realised you haven't had cake in a while. You realise you can make your own cake. You invite them to make cake but they're not as interested. So you make your cake alone. You've missed cake so much and you feel so full. That cake you made for yourself has made you feel so much better than all the other food you've been getting. You even feel a little guilty. Your life force is re-energized and you remember the power of cake. So you let your person know that you need cake. They remind you of all the other things and ask you to see the effort they put into getting you everything else and you feel guilty. Everyone else wonders how one could be so unhappy getting all these luxurious dishes. So you start spending more time alone because you realise the importance of cake and you want to stack up so you always have. This takes you away from your person. They start to feel a little neglected. You let them know that you've told them what you need but cannot get it and now have to make it yourself. They realise they're about to lose you. They bring you the nicest cake ever. Even better than the first one. Well decorated AND tastes good. You enjoy the HELL out of this cake. This is what you've wanted. You think you're finally about to live the good life. And then a few months go by again and no cake. How did you end up back here?

Beware of people who are just icing. Beware of people who know what it takes to get you but don't know/care what it takes to keep you. Beware of being lured into false pretences. Beware of people who are more excited to receive the praise of giving than they are to just give. Beware of neglecting your own needs because you've been told that you *should* be satisfied with what you're getting from outside because 'it's what any person would want'. You are not just any person. You are you. You know what keeps you going. It is your responsibility to maintain that and only allow people willing to maintain that into your life. That is your priority. 

Some jobs are just icing. Some careers are just icing. Some people are just icing. Some lifestyles are just icing. 

What you need is cake.

If you are Iced Cake, you deserve Iced Cake. Some good ass iced cake.

Maybe some days, upgrade to fondant. You're worth it.