Respect Your 'Youngers'
Many older people seem intimidated by the younger folks who aren't intimidated by their elders' age. If only people knew how LITTLE age is a factor in deciding the levels of respect established in an exchange. Anybody who dismisses someone's ideas SOLELY based off their age is not worthy of the respect they require because they haven't granted it.
Children, teens, 20 y/o's are often dismissed because "y'all eh see life yet" (which often assumes you need to go through the hardest of hardships to even have an opinion) so there is this assumption that we have nothing to offer. YET STILL, when there's a struggle to adapt to new information and technology, you run to the youngings.
Stop letting ego raise our kids. We do NOT have it all figured out. We do NOT know everything. Why would you want your kids to be anything less than better than you? Why would you perpetuate the mindset that raised you WITH all its kinks rather than using innovation to adapt it to your child? Why are we trying to create mini me's? The little person is still a person; their OWN person..a whole other human being. If you created your child for you then you'd be taking them with you when you die. What kind of person are you leaving for the world? Somebody who feels they need to attain certain unnecessary standards before they can feel worthy enough to make a contribution?
Imagine there was this picture of a little boy who "beat the system" by lying down where the kitchen met the living room with himself and his food on the kitchen floor while watching his tablet which was on the living room floor. Food wasn't allowed in the living room and the tablet wasn't allowed in the kitchen. (Kids so smart meng lol). Black twitter responded with things like "I'd get my ass whooped for thinking I was slick." Nothing wrong with the jokes but it becomes a problem when it blinds us to the scary outcomes of this type of thinking. But then hope was restored when somebody replied, "black people we need to stop praising this kind of parenting"..or something along those lines. But basically, the young man realised that in the black community, children are getting PUNISHED for showing critical thinking skills and other useful skills necessary in the working world! Getting accused of being "slick" or "disobedient" for being skillful you know.. I was of the assumption that a parent would feel a weird sense of pride being outsmarted by their pickney. Again, stop letting egos raise your kids. It is an honour to have a child. It is a tough responsibility having to nurture a mind. It is a privilege to learn life through the eyes of a child. It is a blessing to to be able to trust in your parenting so much that you do not unnecessarily shelter your child out of fear (shelter from other mindsets as well as certain situations). Mistakes are a part of life but there's no need to continue making the SAME mistakes for the sake of traditions or humour.
Stop letting egos raise our kids. We talk about relationships and being the type of person you want in your life. What kind of person do you expect your child to become? Are you that person? Children are raised by mindsets, action and the correspondence between what you say and what you do more than instruction. But our egos are bruised when a child questions our authenticity/authority when they see actions not matching words. Ego sees that as disrespect. Love sees it as an opportunity to do better by the pickney dem. Your child wants you to do better so they themselves can be better. Having a child damn near forces you to be better. It's not easy but it doesn't have to be. As long as the changes are worthwhile.
Your child is more likely a reflection of your MINDSET and actions than your words. So monitor your mindset and actions just as much as you do words, if not more so. Ultimately, RESPECT all youth and their voice. We have as much to learn from upcoming generations as we do to teach them.
Children, teens, 20 y/o's are often dismissed because "y'all eh see life yet" (which often assumes you need to go through the hardest of hardships to even have an opinion) so there is this assumption that we have nothing to offer. YET STILL, when there's a struggle to adapt to new information and technology, you run to the youngings.
Stop letting ego raise our kids. We do NOT have it all figured out. We do NOT know everything. Why would you want your kids to be anything less than better than you? Why would you perpetuate the mindset that raised you WITH all its kinks rather than using innovation to adapt it to your child? Why are we trying to create mini me's? The little person is still a person; their OWN person..a whole other human being. If you created your child for you then you'd be taking them with you when you die. What kind of person are you leaving for the world? Somebody who feels they need to attain certain unnecessary standards before they can feel worthy enough to make a contribution?
Imagine there was this picture of a little boy who "beat the system" by lying down where the kitchen met the living room with himself and his food on the kitchen floor while watching his tablet which was on the living room floor. Food wasn't allowed in the living room and the tablet wasn't allowed in the kitchen. (Kids so smart meng lol). Black twitter responded with things like "I'd get my ass whooped for thinking I was slick." Nothing wrong with the jokes but it becomes a problem when it blinds us to the scary outcomes of this type of thinking. But then hope was restored when somebody replied, "black people we need to stop praising this kind of parenting"..or something along those lines. But basically, the young man realised that in the black community, children are getting PUNISHED for showing critical thinking skills and other useful skills necessary in the working world! Getting accused of being "slick" or "disobedient" for being skillful you know.. I was of the assumption that a parent would feel a weird sense of pride being outsmarted by their pickney. Again, stop letting egos raise your kids. It is an honour to have a child. It is a tough responsibility having to nurture a mind. It is a privilege to learn life through the eyes of a child. It is a blessing to to be able to trust in your parenting so much that you do not unnecessarily shelter your child out of fear (shelter from other mindsets as well as certain situations). Mistakes are a part of life but there's no need to continue making the SAME mistakes for the sake of traditions or humour.
Stop letting egos raise our kids. We talk about relationships and being the type of person you want in your life. What kind of person do you expect your child to become? Are you that person? Children are raised by mindsets, action and the correspondence between what you say and what you do more than instruction. But our egos are bruised when a child questions our authenticity/authority when they see actions not matching words. Ego sees that as disrespect. Love sees it as an opportunity to do better by the pickney dem. Your child wants you to do better so they themselves can be better. Having a child damn near forces you to be better. It's not easy but it doesn't have to be. As long as the changes are worthwhile.
Your child is more likely a reflection of your MINDSET and actions than your words. So monitor your mindset and actions just as much as you do words, if not more so. Ultimately, RESPECT all youth and their voice. We have as much to learn from upcoming generations as we do to teach them.
This hit home for me. Many times my daughter has said or done something "rude" that makes me want to respond with some Caribbean discipline. But when I really stop to think (and breathe) I realise that often times her "rudeness" is her repeating something that she's seen her dad or me do. Parenting holds up a mirror to your flaws. We have a decision to either fix our flaws and become better parents, or fight daily to "fix" our children.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you! You're definitely a mother I plan to learn from when it's my turn!
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